Last night was an evening of joy and sorrow for me. I was at a popular restaurant having dinner with my wife when I saw a man joining a group of people at the table next to ours.  He looked familiar but I could not place his face at first.  As we waited for our food to arrive we could over hear them  making introductions among themselves. When I heard his name I had an overwhelming feeling excitement and sadness.  I looked over to my wife and told her who he was and let her know that when we finished dinner I would go over and say hello and introduce her to him.

We had attended college together some 29 years before and had not seen each other since. We had spoke briefly over the phone back in 2006.

You see I had met his brother at a substance abuse rehab in 2003. I didn’t recognize his brother as he spoke in one of our group sessions but afterward I asked if he had a brother with the same last name. He confirmed that he did and our friendship began. Have you known someone for just a short time and felt like you have known them all of your life?This was him and I cherished our time together there sharing our lives and stories of things we would do together later in life after rehab.  As we parted ways after our stay at rehab I would see my friend two more times.  One was at a celebration of sobriety among some we had attended rehab with and another time when I received a call of desperation from him because he had relapsed into active drug addiction again. I visited him and we spoke for hours but I was very new to sobriety and didn’t know quite how to help him other than letting him know how I was staying clean after a few months of sobriety. Anyway, I left that day not knowing what would happen. A few weeks later he called in desperation stating that he was returning to rehab but was afraid because he could not be admitted for several days. He indicated he had been drinking heavily and was afraid. I told him to stay put and drink if he had to in order to avoid dangerous withdrawals. I do not know if he was using drugs at this time. I was afraid for him as well. After that call I had lost contact with him except for our last call . He had relapsed again and was having a party to celebrate a particular event. He asked if I was still sober and I replied “yes” He said he was proud of me and indicated he would invite me to the party but understood I could not come because their would be too much temptation for me. I can’t remember exactly how long after it was but I could not reach him over the phone after numerous attempts. After some research I finally found a phone number for his brother, who was then man in the restaurant last night, and called him. I greeted him with a hello, after some 17 years later, and asked how is brother was doing, further explaining how I hadn’t had any luck reaching him for a while. His brother gave me news that I could not believe. My friend had succumbed to addiction and had died a few months back. My heart just sunk and my stomach turned sick. We spoke of what a good guy he was. I offered my condolences to him and his family and the call was over. I think of my  him often and miss him very much. I miss my friend dearly. R.I.P.

Back to last night at the restaurant. As we paid our check, I told my wife I was going over to say hello and introduce her as well. I approached him, sporting my tattooed sleeves and legs, hair down to my middle back, and my gray beard down to my chest. Many things change over time.  As I approached him at his table and announced his name he looked up, not recognizing  me of course, and I told him my name. He appeared to be stunned for a moment. He rose up, shook my hand and gave me a suprising,   yet welcomed hug. I introduced my wife and we spoke briefly of each other and of his brother. I told him I didn’t want to take up his dinner time and he then hugged me again as we said our good bye’s. His last words were ” I hope we see each other again one day”.  I left with great joy of seeing him again and was wonderfully surprised with our reunion.

As we drove home the thought of his brother entered my mind. I became somber and didn’t hardly say a word to my wife on the trip home. The joy of the evening had left me. I said a prayer for the family and retired for the night.

The reason I felt compelled to share this with you is because I guess I feel a certain sense of closure, regarding my friend’s death, by meeting his family face to face. I had indicated last night to his brother that I thought of him often and missed him very much.

I feel this story is also one that shows the power that addiction had over ones life and how tragically fatal it can be. This is the only person I personally knew who lost their battle. I do know that there are many struggling addicts out there wanting help. I say that no matter how little sobriety we have, as was with my case, that we attempt to assist those suffering as if their life and our life depended on it. I know I wish I would have done more for my friend.

My wish and prayers are that those who have recovered or are in recovery help those suffering, I also wish for the hearts to heal from those family members and friends that have lost loved ones to the disease of alcoholism and addiction.  May God Bless us and those suffering.