This evening I had a flashback to the early 1990’s. It had to do with what I was doing with my life at the time. As I looked back I began to get sad, not a pity party per say, but just that I wasted a lot of my life during my drinking years. I started thinking of all the things I would have loved to do and wonder if they would have been possible had I not been an active alcoholic.

As a recovered alcoholic I have come to learn, with faith in God, that had to go through much turmoil in order to be where I am today, and today is a great place. I have a wonderful family and have enjoyed many new great memories over the last 16 years of sobriety. I wouldn’t change that for anything. Yet, I feel there is something lacking.

In an attempt to become more fulfilled I am going to make a list of things I would like to do with my life. This is not a “bucket list” but rather pushing myself to try new things. I am going to try to be realistic in making these choices as I know setting goals that are to lofty can be detrimental to my sobriety.

Last year I had the opportunity to share my story at a recovery hospital on a voluntary basis. I was asked if I could come by once a week to do so. I let fear enter my mind and my heart and I didn’t follow through. So, this year I would like to put out the same offer to other rehabilitation centers and see if I can overcome those fears and get out there and make a difference in the lives of suffering alcoholics. I may have blown my only chance but will continue to make new efforts. I believe in my heart that this is what God wants me to do with the remainder of my life.

I would like to write a complete song on the guitar with accompanying lyrics and record it for my own enjoyment. Now I am unfortunately not talented enough to join a band to play guitar or sing but it is always something I wanted to do. So writing and singing a song seems reasonable.

That is just two things I would like to begin doing. I will share updates in future posts and continue to push myself to do things with my life that are fulfilling. There is a song out there that refers to moving ahead with your life. I think I will start just that; getting a move on.

This post is very important and personal for me. I have to remember that the past cannot be changed. I have many regrets but I don’t have to dwell on them lest I am in danger of delving into self pity and getting closer to a drink. Instead I will continue my program of sobriety. Who knows, I might even become a dirt bike jumper.

I must remember that the “wasted years” as I refer to in my book are those in which I allowed my drinking to take a way my dreams. Some can no longer be accomplished but I suppose that is why I always have a chance to create new dreams. I pray that I can begin today. “Get Up Get Up Get a Move On–Stop Stalling” (Shinedown). I pray that I will stop stalling now.

I would sure like to hear any comments you would like to share on this topic or on what I posted. Together we can make a difference in the lives of fellow alcoholics. May God bless your life as he has mine.