I would like to revisit the topic of Complacency. For 14 + years of sobriety I followed a morning prayer and meditation to the tee. My prayer would always be for happiness, health, safety and security for family members and friends. My morning prayer would be done in a very quiet place. I would address all immediate family members in-depth with solitary prayers for each. I would also say general prayer for those family members whom I regularly do not have  contact with  on a frequent basis.  I find myself falling into  the realm of complacency, Instead of taking the time to sit in a quiet place for prayer I often do it while on the go. I have found myself shortening prayer for my convenience. Some might argue that some form of prayer is better than none but I feel it requires more attention than I am giving it. After all, for myself, that only amounts to about thirty minutes every morning. I want to get back to this and perhaps this revelation of my complacency will help me return to  my previous  contact with God and prayers for all in my life. I do feel a conscience contact with God throughout the day regarding prayer and direction so that, I believe , is good.

In addition, for the past 14+ years I had been reading meditation and reflection books every morning. This only consists of prayer and meditation for the day. A whopping three pages to read. Well, yesterday after an absence in reading I picked up my books, or shell of books with crumpled and withering  pages and duct tape holding the binding in place, and did some reading. To my  dismay I found that the last time I read was  back in May. That was quite a few months to lapse in my daily meditative reading. I can only explain this as a form of complacency regarding the topics of this discussion. I am not happy that I had a lapse in judgment but am glad that God reminded me of its importance as a daily part  of my life with regards to staying sober.

I am happy that I have gotten back on track and had t divine intervention making it possible to do so.  Had it not been realized then I could have treading on a dangerous path toward losing the protection of sobriety.  By the  grace of God I have recovered my commitment to daily prayer and meditation.

It works for me and so I must tread forward.

Complacency also came in the form of my willingness to help other suffering alcoholics and those in early recovery. It was not but several months ago this summer that I contacted several drug and alcohol treatment centers in my area, I was asking for an invitation, on a voluntary basis, to share my story with their patients. Of the emails that I sent out I got a positive response from one such treatment facility. It turns out that my email was received  and read by some of the directors of the program. I initially had offered to come by once a month. Upon a meeting with  them I was asked if I was available to share my story on a weekly basis. I agreed to do so and I was informed that I would be contacted by Human Services to cover some paperwork regarding confidentiality and such. I never was contacted and I did not follow-up. I believe to be in the state I was in this Summer with regards to being complacent. I am saddened by my choice to not follow-up on such a great opportunity. I strongly feel, after gone through the full cycle of addiction and recovery,that my story may be able to create hope for some individuals in early recovery.  The bottom line is that fear and complacency consumed me and for that I am disappointed in myself. Perhaps this realization too will help me to pass along ” a message” of hope. I pray daily for the courage to do so.

I am going to make a pledge to try to help others. I may have an opportunity to share my story in the coming weeks and I hope I have the courage to do so. Other than my book, I have never presented to a live audience. If Ican be so confident to say  that it is a shame. I have heard speakers in the past and they made a difference in my recovery, no matter how small, I pray that this opportunity comes again and that I may speak from the heart.

I hope my revelation of complacency shows, that no matter what your program is or length of sobriety, how easy it is to fall into a detrimental rut if you will. Thank your for reading and please feel free to comment on this topics or any others on this website. May God continue to intervene, so that I recognize  complacency, and   stay on track toward a positive recovery program., May God bless you as he has me.