Monthly Archives: February 2017

Rock Bottom

My Rock Bottom

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Rock Bottom was a very dark place for me. It was  a necessary evil that I do not wish upon anyone but unfortunately for me I had to hit that low before I surrendered to my disease of alcoholism.

After admission into 7 impatient rehab facilities, 5 outpatient programs, 3 mental institution stays, jail and numerous trips to the hospital emergency rooms I could;t go any longer. I wasn’t  crazy but my actions were.

I have read that an active alcoholic will go to any length to protect that lifestyle. I know I did. There was a demon inside me fighting  for my way of life . I had wanted to get and stay sober for many years. In fact I used to fantasize what it would be like living sober. Yet after being  released from my first rehab in 1991 I continued to drink destructively for 13 more years. A real living hell for me.

My rock bottom came as I lie there in a bed in an alcohol detox program.  Counselors had initially exhausted their search for yet another impatient rehab program but I now know that it was Devine Intervention that found me a rehab to accept me. A sanctuary in North Texas that would set me free of the bonds of active alcoholism . A place that I will never forget, nor the people that played a role in my start of recovery.

I am giving a brief description of what my rock bottom was like. God made it possible for me to change and I believe anyone suffering can receive the same blessing as I did. I now know that God was always there for me even though I did not realize it at the time. I had to lose everything including my will to live to finally stop fighting.

My point here is that there are many different forms of rock bottom.  Don’t give up no matter what you have or are going through in your life. Fight the demon until it is arrested. Your life probably depends on it. My wish it that active alcoholics get to their own rock bottom sooner that later so they may be saved from the horrible state of addiction. God bless those suffering, in recovery and those who have recovered from the disease.

Thanks for reading. My postings  share my experience with alcoholism and hopefully some insight on recovery. Feel free to subscribe to this site and share your experiences , or comments, on how to get sober and stay sober today. If we do this together I believe we can change and save lives.

Be Willing

Be Willing

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In my previous post “Passing Judgement,” I spoke of a person who is suffering from alcoholism, and unfortunately is spiraling downhill.  A very vigorous effort was made to assist this person in choosing to get into a rehab facility.

Unfortunately this person was not ready for treatment. This just goes to reaffirm that not every alcoholic can be helped until then,  no matter how hard an effort is made by those wanting help them.

Now in my previous post I spoke of my realization, with my wife’s necessary intervention, that I should go to any lengths an always be willing to try to help any suffering alcoholic wanting sobriety.

Well in this case, for the time being, the disease is ahead. In the future , when this person has hit their rock bottom and is truly honest about wanting to get clean, I will be willing to assist and hopefully the tables will change.

However it does not make it any easier to feel like I failed at helping this person. I have learned that not every alcoholic can be helped but  perhaps I planted a seed in their mind. That is what happened in my recovery process. As bad as I wanted sobriety the disease was sabotaging all my efforts to get and stay sober. When I finally hit my rock bottom I was ready and I recalled all of the times people planted seeds in my mind, with regards to getting and staying clean.

I have also learned that trying to help an alcoholic, whether successful or not, there lies an undeniable truth that the process helped me stay sober another day. It also reminded me to playback in my mind how poorly I made decisions when I was at my farthest progression of the disease. I have learned  that by playing back the experiences you had as an alcoholic during your final days should be a strong deterrent against wanting to live that way again. These days, after 13 years of sobriety, I rarely think about the good old days of drinking but if they crop up in my mind I am quick, with prayer, to play back the bad times in my life and tell myself, “I don’t have to live that way anymore”

So only time will tell if this person chooses recovery. My wish is that it happens and that I am there then,  and  available for countless others if they seek my help in finding a path  to a life of sobriety.

Thanks for reading and feel free to make any comments. Feel free to join our group by clicking the link on the homepage . You will only receive an email when a new post or comment is made.

May God bless all those suffering and those in recovery.