Monthly Archives: January 2017

Passing Judgment

Passing Judgment

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Wow! I sure had a rude awakening this weekend. My wife was so disappointed in me that she had to question my integrity as far as me helping someone who had nowhere to go. This was a person who I have known for several years. We were never good friends. ( I apologize for being vague but I just am wanting to protect their identity and privacy),

Anyway,  this person has been a suffering alcoholic who has reached out for help in the past  but had not fully committed or perhaps been  honest with themselves about truly wanting to get sober and stay that way. This is only my opinion .

Now to my point. Prior to helping this person I stated to my wife that it was a bad idea and that I didn’t want to be a part of it. I did not be the one to have to cater to this persons needs, like getting some affairs in order. My wife, in disappointment of my unwillingness to help this person, questioned if I really am someone who wants to help others or am I just all talk. Needless to say, I held on to my selfish desire to turn this person away,

It was a statement to me that really woke me up. She told me of all the persons in the world ,and based on my past I should be willing, at almost any cost, to help this person. For it was in my past that I found myself in jail with no one to turn to in my silent desperation.  I, by the grace of God, had found only one person willing to help me out and if not I perhaps would have continued to drink and face a certain death and in a very short time, I believe, as a suicidal alcoholic.

After pondering my stance regarding the whole situation I realized how selfish I had become. I acknowledge my behavior to my wife and told her that I would help  in any way possible. We are going to do all we can over the next few days to help this person and hopefully  feel like someone can be turned to in desperate times. This is a good person even though  their personal life has deteriorated.

I have apologized to God for passing judgment . What was I thinking that I had such a right. Without my wife being supportive in my proclaimed efforts to want to help those suffering, I may have not changed my feeling and thinking about the whole situation. I am writing today  to apologize to everyone involved ; God and Family. To all who read my posts I also apologize for nearly making a hypocritical act by not helping this person. I know that God directed my change in thinking and compassion and for that I am grateful because as has been  stated , ” But for the Grace of God there I go”

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment. God Bless You.

 

 

Forgiveness and Gifts

The Beauty of Forgiveness

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A new year is underway and I believe it will provide many gifts as long as I stay sober. The greatest gift is that from God. I know that he will protect me from temptation to drink if I honestly seek it and commune with him on a daily basis.  By God’s Will and his Grace I look forward to the beauty that may lie ahead.

I would like to share some of my greatest gifts that sobriety has offered. Over the last 13 years I have been able to make amends to many people I  had harmed as a result of my reckless and irresponsible behaviors of the past. It is a wonderful feeling to have gained the trust of my family again.  I try very hard to honor commitments and I fray away from lying or making excuses.  What a horrible way that way was to live as I recall my past behaviors while drinking.

A beautiful gift is that my grandchildren have never had to see me take a drink. God willing they will never have to. I do hope that my children never have to experience that again as well. I recall my stomach turning and twisting every time I saw my father start drinking again when I was a child. He did his best to raise me even though he to suffered from the Disease of Alcoholism. This last sentence is good to remember and reminds me to talk to my children and really find out how they felt seeing me drink on a daily basis. I have made amends to them but I don’t think I ever really sat down and discussed their feelings about my drinking years. I will make this a point to do in person the next time I see them. So you see, there are many ways to look at gifts of sobriety and the chance to get to talk to them face to face is a blessing for me.

There have been many other beautiful gifts that sobriety has yielded, like a wonderful marriage to my beautiful, caring and understanding wife. I am no longer as selfish as I once was  and see the future as an opportunity to try to impact and help as many lives ( both suffering alcoholics and others) as God allows.

The greatest gift is my relationship with God. I feel he has forgiven me for my past behaviors and loves me unconditionally. In previous posts I described how I used to be angry every morning because he didn’t take my life overnight because of my daily abusive behavior when I was actively drinking. I am very grateful that I don’t have to live that way anymore. He has given me good health and a new found desire to live a long life.

These are just a few of the greatest rewards I have received over the years of sobriety and they far surpass any material gifts. Material gifts are nice but do not compare to spiritual gifts that have come my way.

Thanks for reading. I invite you to share your wonderful gifts you have received and pass on this website to others who may need help getting sober or while in recovery. God Bless you all.