In the past month or so I have had a wonderful and fulfilling addition to my daily prayer and communion with God. My wife has been joining me every morning ,before she gets ready for work,  in my daily readings as well as saying  my St. Francis de Sales prayer and Serenity Prayer. I am not sure if I mentioned this in an earlier post but i like to read a page out of three different alcohol recovery books. Two endorsed by AA and another written by a recovery center. In addition we read affirmations together. In reading with my wife has said she is gaining a better insight into the inner thoughts of my alcoholic mind as I attempt to discuss how the readings relate to my past and current behaviors . I am glad because if I ever were to head toward temptation she may be there for me as an initial interventionist advising me to call an alcoholic friend or get to an AA meeting quickly. Now my wife is not an alcoholic but is a Christian by faith and can relate to my strong faith and believer in God as my savior from the terrible disease of alcoholism. Our believe our time together each morning is strengthening our relationship as importantly as adding  additional arsenal to my existing recovery program. In my opinion it just goes to show how God is further working in my life daily to help me defend against drinking. Let’s stay sober together today. God bless you.

Once again here in recent months I have found myself leaving my defenses down against my disease. In a previous post I indicated how I always say to myself, ” I don’t have to live that way anymore” whenever I am around or in the presence of alcohol. Well at a minor league baseball game the other day, with my wife, the presence of beer was being purchased and consumed all around me. The next morning I spoke with my wife about what I had experienced. You see I found myself observing the people and their drinks. I watched as some consumed several and others who just held their drink without hardly taking a swallow. Some complained about the $10 per cup cost as  I thought to myself, no big deal, because i would have probably spent a $100 on 10 cups without thinking twice.This was not good. The danger for me was that I spent a little too much time observing and for a brief moment I had what i believe was euphoric recall of the smell and the sensation alcohol had provided me in my early drinking years. I must have gotten distracted because luckily I don’t recall that only lasting for a second or two. The point that I want to make here is that no matter how long I have been sober.  I had better remember how  sick alcohol had made toward the end of my drinking days.  Foremost. I should have prayed that,  for any thoughts regarding alcohol be removed from my thinking. I have heard it said that when dangerous thoughts about the pleasure of drinking enter my mind I should always “rewind to my last days of drinking” to remember how ill and close to death I was. In addition , for myself, I should always remember to say ” I don’t have to live that way anymore” I must do this to protect my sobriety and my life. Now I will be attending another game in the near future ,with family, and I am going to remind myself prior to going of what I felt at the last game and how I need to put my defenses in place.  I hope that you are able to find what defenses work for you or perhaps use the ones I use.  May God bless you with sobriety each day.