On October 31, 2003 I locked the monster inside me. I am referring to the disease of alcoholism. How ironic that it was Halloween day that is my sobriety date.  I have heard it said that the beast inside me is just waiting to be released. It is waiting for resentment , fear or hate, among other feelings, to eat at my soul to the point that I take a drink and let it out. For me that means going back to my old drinking patterns and way of thinking.  I know I would get drunk right away and be back where I left off in 2003; crying, paranoid, suicidal, begging God to let me die and unlikely that I could find my way back to sobriety. By the grace of God those feelings have never been so strong that I have been tempted to drink.  For me with my faith and devotion to  prayer i have been able to ask that negative feelings be removed from my thinking and to just  let things go. I have to do this to protect my life and the relationships that took a long time to rebuild.  May you find a way to lock the monster inside you and for those in recovery have the belief that God can help you keep your monster there.